The Groper’s Good Deed
There used to be a mom and pop hardware store conveniently located in our neighborhood. One of the employees was a friendly and very helpful fellow in his late forties, but he had one big downfall. He was a groper. Every woman in the neighborhood knew this guy because if he got you alone in one of the back aisles of the store, he’d cop a feel. Encounters with him made my skin crawl and I did my best to avoid him. But one day, out of desperation because I had no one else around who could help with an urgent life-or-death situation, I invited the groper to my house. What he did (and what I learned from his behavior) surprised me.
A THREE-PART SERIES, BASED ON A TRUE STORY
with new episodes published on Tuesdays and Thursdays
Part 1: The Groper’s Good Deed
In the early aughts, we owned a miniature black and tan dachshund named Corky. One swelteringly hot summer day, Corky managed to get himself stuck beneath an expanse of decking outside our bedroom door. He had dug himself underneath, kicking little hills of dirt behind him so that the exit was blocked and he couldn’t turn around and get out. I didn’t know what to do, so I called the fire department.
Part II: The Groper’s Good Deed
Time was running out. I went back to my house to check on my little dachshund (I heard a whimpering sound, so at least I knew he was still alive). For a moment I stood there, pondering what to do, nerves stretched tight as amped-up wiring in an unhappy lover’s heart. I cherished this dog. He had been my constant companion for a number of years now and he was intensely sweet and loyal. For him to perish under the planks of a deck as I stood nearby hearing his desperate cries was like something out of a horror movie.
Part III: The Groper’s Good Deed
The best place for me to buy a crowbar was at our local hardware store. Grimy and sweat-stained, I hopped into my car and drove straight there, barely pausing at stop signs. Who was the first person I saw as I barged through the door, but the groper, a wide and delighted smile on his face. Ah yes, there I was, fair game. As soon as I saw him I burst into tears. “Can you help me?” I sobbed.